How I cope with parenting in a long distance relationship

Long Distance Parent Relationship & Boarding School – How do you do that?

How could I send my kids away? The truth is I don’t know how I do. 

My heart sinks in the pit of my stomach with every drop off and I have to hold back the tears.

But it’s those phone calls I get when Georgia is squealing down the phone with excitement yelling “I GOT INTO THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD!“ Or her bursting with excitement with a list a mile long detailing the events of the social calendar for the weekend. Or something epic that has just happened, that is what gets me through it. I seriously couldn’t be more proud of her at how she has handled being away from all of us. She has definitely put the big girl pants on and takes everything in her own stride.

My little girl is growing up before my eyes and I swear she grows a few inches every time I see her. So hard to believe she’s only 12, soon to be 13 in just a few months.

I think my biggest battle is having other people parenting her instead of me. Like when I had a phone call at 9pm at night telling me she was rocking a super high temperature. The house mother promised me she would keep an eye on her all night and I just had to have trust in her that she would. I physically felt ill and wanted to jump in the car and go straight to her. Because I know every child just wants their mum when they’re sick – these are the phone calls where I really have to keep my shit together.

My daughter has left the nest

My nest feels empty now having two of them away at boarding school and my little one feels their absence. When they started school back in February I’d hear him yelling out to the house “is anyone there??” We even had to move him up near our room and get him a night light as he started to get scared.

As I write this I feel all the emotions flooding in. I’m constantly feeling guilty and asking myself ‘am I doing the right thing?’ I question our actions as it feels all types of wrong. And to be truthful I’m not sure I would have been able to agree to it if I hadn’t attended boarding school myself and knew of all the amazing opportunities and the friendships that come with it.

She is Flourishing

What truly blows my mind is how much Georgia has blossomed in this short amount of time. She has really come into her own, with her gorgeous bubbly confident personality shining through. Before we would only get a rare glimmer of that side of her. It was quickly shut down here in the country, with girls constantly putting her down. Now her true beauty has come to light. One of the things I always encourage her to do is just to BE YOU, your vibe attracts your tribe. My heart fills with so much happiness when I see the beautiful bond she has created with her friends and the genuine care they have for each other…

What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?
― Erin Hanson

I know we still have a long journey ahead of us with this crazy boarding school adventure, but as I always say to my kids…

If you need me I’m there.

This is my biggest reason for having an open relationship with my children. Even if they have done something wrong, no matter how bad, I’m there to support them. You tell me the truth and nothing but the truth and I’ll be less mad. You lie and that’s when things go bad. “The truth always comes out” I tell them!

Long Distance Parent Relationship

My daughter makes me laugh when she says it’s like a long distance parent relationship. And I laugh every time she says it. I say to her “well it’s true love and I have nothing but undevoted love for you. That pure bond between a mother and daughter can never be broken, I love you with all my heart.”

We talk every single day if not twice a day. I will not sugar coat it however, some phone calls I still have to bring out the Batman voice, stay strong and not let the fact that she is at boarding school give her an excuse to let her talk to me in a bad tone or think she can get away with stuff because she’s having a bad day. Those are my tough phone calls and I ALWAYS come away from them in tears. There are those days where it snowballs and I’ll get a phone call from both kids in one day. But that’s parenting – there’s no rule book on how to do it we just do the best we can.

I’m already counting down the days till when I see them next – we try to get to see them every second weekend. It will be Mother’s Day and there’s no way I could not see them on that day. I couldn’t think of a better Mother’s Day present than to see them. That’s all I need. No gifts, just them as they are the best gift I’ve ever been given.

So wish me luck in my long distance parenting relationship.

Like every relationship, there will be ups and downs.

But a true bond will never be broken.

 

Clothing and slides provided by Hipkin and Little Pinwheel

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Nicole Langford

Mother to teen, tween and threenanger… Stumbling through this thing called motherhood while following my passion for photography, fashion and anything else I can fit into that time where a mother has barely time to scratch herself or even have a toilet trip by herself… In between running to paddocks and moving machinery #farmlife #motherhood

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