When the words of a bully broke my daughter

As the weeks turned into months of me telling my daughter "he's just doing it because he likes you" and "just ignore him", came the day when she came home from school sobbing, a non-stop sobbing. He had broken her. His words "you're ugly," "you're fat," "you're stupid" had broken her. Just words... not just words, words that hurt when said over and over again. I did the thing that most of us parents do, I said "they are just words don't let them worry you" (sticks and stones). The thing is, they may just be words, but I know what words I would rather hear - you're beautiful and you're kind. If she were an adult it would have been totally different and that is what we need to remind ourselves. What kind of adults are we creating when we are teaching our kids that it's okay. That day will never leave my mind and I'm so thankful that we have a close relationship and that she was able to come to me that day. She had started to hate herself. My beautiful confident girl was now somewhere lost inside. As we talked into the night and more over that weekend, I asked her what she thought about starting a campaign on social media using the popular hashtags #itsnotcooltobecruel and #itscooltobekind. With so many tweens on social media what better way to spread the word and teach kindness about how important it is to speak kind words. Too many young people are taking their lives because of cruel words and bullying. We want them to know they are not alone and there are options out there for them which is why we joined together with Somewhere Between to create this campaign. This campaign has created a light inside my daughter again. It has given her strength to know she is making a difference in spreading an important message; the power of kindness.

Months have passed since that day and I'm happy to have my bubbly girl back. We did have to put some things into place at her school and on the bus, which her school was very supportive of. There was one day at school that she got angry when someone told her she was ugly again. I think that is her trigger because it has hurt her to the core, but the amazing support people have shown with the campaign has given her so much hope and she realises how much kindness there is out there in this world. We have been overwhelmed by messages and the people wanting to create pictures, and other amazing things that we can't wait to show you soon.  The excitement I see in her face when I tell her what a difference it is making, warms my heart. I truly tear up at the thought that something that was so painful has been turned into a message that has spread worldwide. We hope that kids out there realise there is help and light at the end of their darkness. I know that there will always be people who are mean or cruel, but if more of us stand together against them and not with them when this is happening, then we can find the power in KIND and stick together in kindness.

Nic x

 

 

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Nicole Langford

Mother to teen, tween and threenanger… Stumbling through this thing called motherhood while following my passion for photography, fashion and anything else I can fit into that time where a mother has barely time to scratch herself or even have a toilet trip by herself… In between running to paddocks and moving machinery #farmlife #motherhood

2 Comments
  1. I feel for you and your daughter but strength and love will always be the best medicine.
    My daughter had to leave yr 12 a few months ago because of severe bullying. She won’t get her yr 12 certificate or have a formal which she was preparing for. Worse is she was offered direct entry into university for all her hard work which now she had to give in. She was a broken young lady and the pain she went through every day was heartbreaking. She is smart, beautiful and such a giving person. The more modelling work she got (she did it for free) the more bullying she received. Telling her people are jealous didn’t help her at all. She would have apples thrown at her head, her car purposely backed into, our house egged numerous times and her Instagram account shut down. And of course countless txts and online bullying. There was no option but to leave school. She was put on anti depressents also. She is now working in a sports store and hopes one day she will be discovered and be a top model to shove it in the bullies faces. She is also going to do psychology at uni as a mature age student. At the moment she needs a break from pressure and study. She is a lot happier making new MATURE friends and is doing ok. Thanks you for sharing your story. If you need any work done by her to help your cause I’m sure she would support you. I will let you know her name in a private email. Have a great day!

    1. Thank you Sarah for taking the time to write your story I’m so sorry to here your daughter has gone through this so tuff on them and as there mother it breaks your heart to see them in that pain , I will spread the word in hope that it will reach far and wide to how important kindness is , we 94 cooltobekind tees and fundraising for kidshelpline w will continue to do the campaign and want you to pass on to your daughter she is stronger than she thinks and braver than she will every know and truely hope she can turn her pain into a strength she has never noun , kind regards Nicole

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